Passionfruit Butter

This week, David Lebovitz and Pim (not that either of those people know who I am, given that I am measly and teenaged, but I do love following them) both posted about the latest Facebook virus: “25 Things About Me.” Essentially, one person writes a note — kind of like a public bulletin — in which they list 25 random facts about themselves and then tag a number of friends (hopefully 25, although I could only think of 19 people on FB who’d be remotely interested in reading those facts), all of whom are expected to repeat the process. I was tagged by several people until, yesterday, I finally gave into the craze. I thought it would be difficult to come up with that many random facts, but it was surprisingly easy and very refreshing in a totally solipsistic way (what else do you expect from such things?). I decided, hey, quick and easy blog, precedented by some bloggers more respectable and widely followed than I… I might as well give it a shot. I’m gonna go à la David Lebovitz and go over the 25-fact limit, in fact. That’s how fun this is.

1. I have a sacred relationship with my Weimaraner, Audrey. We share precious moments.

2. I am addicted to writing lists. I write lists of lists I need to write. It’s appalling.

3. I get depressed if I go for an extended period of time without a hug.

4. I make a mean chocolate chip cookie. By mean, I mean the best thing you’ve ever tasted. The only thing that makes the recipe better is the presence of Jenna Christine Way.

5. I own three pairs of slippers. The moment I put on the first and best pair was the moment I discovered God. Sometimes, I actually sneak out in public while I am wearing them. It is thrilling.

6. I write a weekly food column. Be nice to me now; that way, when I am the editor-in-chief of Food & Wine magazine, maybe I’ll send you a free subscription.

7. I live my life with a LOT of emotion — there isn’t even a trace of emo in me, but I enjoy feeling things rather than putting that off. This means that when I am bummed out, I’m very bummed out; conversely, when I am happy, I am exuberant, ebullient, ecstatic, jubilant.

8. The above fact could lead you to believe at least one of two things: I am a) fragile or b) bipolar. Thank you, but I am neither. I actually consider myself very adaptable and resilient… although I am a self-proclaimed catharsis addict. That is neither here nor there. Promise.

9. I am stubborn. Very. I know when to keep quiet about things, so I’m not the person you’ll hear loudly driving a point into the ground… but, oh, I am stubborn.

10. My New Year’s resolution is to learn something new everyday.

11. I adore sitting alone in the quiet of the car after I’ve gotten home and turned off the ignition. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing or even if I’m doing anything at all; it’s just one of my favorite places to be. Passersby glance at me and think I’m a lunatic.

12. I much prefer tiny spaces to huge ones, and chances are, I’d choose a cottage over a mansion… particularly if that cottage had staggeringly gorgeous landscaping. I would gladly live in a house the size of a shoebox if my backyard was a fairy dreamland.

13. I am obsessed with philosophy and am currently in the midst of a mission to hoard as much philosophical knowledge as I can. Some people might say this is impossible. I say I’ve got several more decades to live. Watch me.

14. I am irrevocably addicted to solitaire and brick breaker.

15. There is little on God’s green earth that is greater than a half-shrimp, half-oyster po-boy made with Leidenheimer’s bread.

16. I am restless to be somewhere where I can learn as much as I want about whatever I want without having to be hindered by minutiae and requirements. This has led me to believe that Brown University and I are meant to be together. I hope it is not an unrequited feeling.

17. I am aching to be somewhere where I can romp and explore and pursue different experiences, different adventures, different types of food, different museums, different niches. This has led me to believe that Barnard College (in NYC) and I are meant to be together. I hope it is not an unrequited feeling.

18. I could watch Enchanted every day for a year and not get sick of it.

19. My mom is one of my favorite people in the entire world.

20. I get very wistful whenever I reminisce on this past summer spent at the Lycée Masséna in France.

21. I am not one of the people who’s constantly surrounded by hoards of people — but when I love someone, I really, really adore them, and I want to give all my time and effort and belongings to them if it makes them happy.

22. I have all of the details of my wedding planned except for my gown. Please take note that this will not happen for about another decade.

23. I want to have a blue Weimaraner named Hilda and a Vizsla named Fritz. I’d also like a Great Dane, but their short lifespan is the surefire recipe for a broken heart for me.

24. I rode horses for ten years, stopped recently due to busyness/a sold horse/the imminence of college, and really want to start again. I was a hunter but I spent two summers working at a ranch. I want to learn dressage next.

25. I absolutely cannot stand arrogance and really don’t think there’s ever an excuse for it. Some of the most phenomenal people I’ve ever met are all the more phenomenal because of their humility.

26. The most providential thing in my life is the fact that two of my favorite foods above all favorite foods are beets and goat cheese.

27. To clarify, I love beets. I could write a ballad about them.

28. I love to pluck my eyebrows, although I always do it within reason so that I maintain a natural pair of brows rather than a set of highly artificial arches that appear as if I am in a constant state of shock.

29. I am fairly certain that I would eat pretty much anything put in front of me, as long as it wasn’t inherently GROSS. What I’m saying is that I’d be more likely to eat monkey or a fried bug than, say, a chunk of pure fat cut off of a pork chop. Gooo figure.

30. My favorite book in the entire world is The Great Gatsby and it always will be. It relates to everyone and everything that arises in my life.

31. I am eager to please… not in the sense that I am sycophantic and/or have no sense of self-worth, but in a more pure way. It just makes me happy to make others happy.

32. Room service is one of the greatest things on God’s green earth.

33. I am in the midst of a torrid love affair with Friedrich Nietzsche.

34. The top shelf of my locker is a veritable pantry full of Annie’s Bunny Grahams, Annie’s Gummy Bunnies, fruit leather, Lindt truffles, salted caramels, Wheat Thins veggie chips, and fun-size Heath bars… aka I have a nice selection to choose from when I need a bite-sized pick-me-up between classes.

35. I idealize most things and am sentimental, nearly to a fault.

36. I love caramelized onions. I also like to caramelize them. Weird? I know. Don’t ask questions. I’ll caramelize them if you cut them.

37. My love for naps is inversely proportional to the frequency of naps in my life. This would imply that I idealize naps, too. In any case, they’re delicious.

38. I love the fact that I drive a Prius.

39. I can’t decide which couple I like more: Jim & Pam or Barack & Michelle.

40. One day, I will marry Jim.

41. I gave up chocolate for Lent. It was weird, because I’m not even Christian. Really, I just wanted to see if I could do it. I cried on the first full day but I made it through without cheating once. I’m not sure it’s something I’ll ever repeat, but I am glad I did it.

42. A basket of warm bread with cold butter is one of my favorite things about dining out.

43. I always ask to see the dessert menu.

44. I used to want to be an anthropological diplomat, and I still want to study a lot of anthro in college.

45. I still can’t get over the fact that, one day, I will be paid to do what I love most: write about food. Somehow, I can’t even comprehend the idea that there’s possibly an industry for that. It’s too good to be true. I get to eat all this and all I have to do is translate my gushing into somewhat more coherent and eloquent prose?!

46. I am realizing more and more everyday how crucial it is to have creativity skills.

47. My life dream is to win a James Beard Award.

48. One day, I’d love to become involved in education reform. I think the state of the world necessitates a review of what and how we teach children.

49. I believe that I could have a riveting conversation with any person at all, so long as that person was fervently passionate about something.

50. I also believe that, when you know what you’re passionate about, everything else falls into place. I think of The Alchemist here, but I had the thought before I made the connection. What I’m trying to say is that, when you’ve zoomed in on what it is that you want to dedicate your life to (sorry for the bad grammar, but I didn’t want to be pretentious by using the right grammar), everything else sorts itself out as a contingency to your goal.

51. It absolutely kills me when people sit around and pretend to be informed and superior by criticizing everything and everyone that surrounds them and that is going on in the world. Either go fix it yourself or stop buzzing in my ears about this useless crap.

52. I pride myself on writing in lovely, romantic, swirly, coherent cursive.

53. Pink lady apples.

54. I am in love with honey and sometimes I get such acute cravings for baklava that I go to the grocery store expressly to get one triangle of it. Is this inefficient? Some people have hinted at it. The end justifies the means.

55. I have eaten rattlesnake confit. It was superb.

56. My secret power of choice would be teleportation.

57. People have always gasped at the sight of my eyelashes. I have tried to see my eyelashes as other people see them, but when I am equipped with just my face and a handheld mirror, this is impossible… much to my chagrin.

58. I am slowly starting to like bananas. The black seeds/dots have always just freaked me out beyond compare.

59. Crema di limon gelato at La Divina Gelateria has made my life possible.

60. I never really like pretzels until I eat them.

61. It’s semi-in vogue to diagnose oneself with a psychological disorder, but sometimes I have legitimate concern to think I have OCD. Many people around me agree.

62. I enjoy calling teachers by their first names to gauge their reactions.

63. I prefer endive to romaine. I break all kinds of conventions.

64. I am obsessed with French culture, French mentality, French style, French conventions, French food…

65. The reason I don’t like olives is that, when I was still at a very impressionable young age, I found out my mom didn’t like olives. I had enjoyed them to this point but, due to my extreme idolatry of Darling Mother, olives suddenly lost all their appeal. Lately, I have realized just how tragic of a loss this is, and I am training myself to like them.

66. There is not much better than a spontaneous, solitary trip to the bookstore on a lazy night.

67. 95% of my dearest friends and favorite people do not live where I live.

68. I wish I was less passive than I am, but it truly never occurs to me to be aggressive until a couple of seconds after aggressiveness on my part would have been useful.

69. The first time I ate crawfish after Katrina, I filled a large dinner plate with a pile of crawfish shells that was as tall as it was wide. I can peel a crawfish in four seconds.

70. The best two dollars you will ever spend in your life is on an order of beignets at Café du Monde.